The passionate noise of the 12th Man has become a metaphor for my life’s distractions. The 12th Man’s deafening noise comes screaming out of nowhere and wreaks havoc in my life. In life, noise can be more than just what we hear. It can be emotions, addictions, useless busyness, even the all-powerful face painted nut job of success. For a moment think of yourself as Colin Kaepernick and ask the question, “How am I handling the 12th Man?”
Here are five sounding boards I use in my life.
#1 Awareness: Be aware of the noise. Know where it’s coming from? I have learned from GoNetYourself that sound can be both magical and highly mysterious, but it’s the game changer to almost everything I do. Identification linked with honesty is the key to self-awareness.
#2 Cool Tools: There are times in life when I need a personal sound check. I have found keeping a detailed log of my daily habits is powerful. Identifying times allotted to daily activity over a 30-60 day period is acutely piercing to the heart. This little exercise will be your sound test to where noise is coming from.
#3 Communicate well: Learn to use noise to your benefit. When everyone else is frantic, calm communication allows for execution. Communicating well is key: be clear, be purposeful and be honest. When the power of the 12th comes, simple honesty brings clarity to most communication issues.
#4 Listen well: Listening well is the art of being ok with yourself. Listen to what people are not saying to you. Directly and indirectly – feed on feedback. Has anyone confronted you recently? If not, seek out feedback.
#5 Prepare well: Noise can scare the living bejeebers out of you and in the 4th quarter it rips your heart out. Understanding how to handle noise is all about preparation. Trust me the 12th Man is coming…prepare well. Preparation will enable you to relax in the midst of chaos, allowing precise execution. The key to preparation is knowing what is most important. Over the past few years I have seen the “Financial Crises – 12th MAN” wreak havoc in people’s lives. Those who already knew what was most important never flinched – they just narrowed their focus.
The greatest players cannot deny hearing the 12th Man ringing in their ears but instead have a unique ability to tune it out with keen focus.
P.S. – Please don’t forward to Colin – everyone else is loudly appreciated!
Comment below how you deal with the 12th Man in your life.
As a child we start our life in WONDER. Throw a child into the air and they scream, “Do it again, do it again!” Wonder is when the colors of life are piercing and optimism is palpable. Wonder is at the heart of every adventuresome moment in childhood. Then somewhere in our later teens we start to transition out of the age of Wonder and into a new healthy world of opposition. We challenge authority at every corner. As our intelligence grows, often our spirit of wonder and optimism shrivels up being supplanted by the powerful desire to be right or heard. Our passionate youthful high expectations are inflicted upon the world.
At the point in life when the “hope in opposition” turns to resentment, then kills many.
They die right at the intersection of expectation and opposition crashing head-on into a messy world. It is here at the intersection of messy, where most never realize there is a choice, another way. We either die grasping tightly to being right, slowly wreathing into a resentful heart which breeds an apathetic life. Or…
The other choice is to challenge yourself to become an ageless WONDER. Wonder is the most powerful medicine of age. The greatest outliers the world has ever known had the ability to loosely oppose conventional wisdom with one hand but squeeze out every ounce of WONDER life had to offer in the other hand.
WONDER doesn’t demand, right or wrong, it sees
WONDER doesn’t rant, it appreciates
WONDER doesn’t teach, it directs towards mystery
WONDER doesn’t expect, it anticipates
WONDER doesn’t control, it unleashes the pursuit
If you have ever met someone who lives in WONDER you will ask to meet with them again, and again.
WOW a good life…..Wonder-Oppose-Wonder.
Presently Disconnected is a great description of our current cultural dilemma. Presently Disconnected essentially means, “I’m here with you but value those who are miles away much more.” We have all observed restaurant tables when entire families are sitting “miles apart”. We don’t need to unplug our immediate generation from liking, tweeting and texting but we do need to identify our own personal insatiable desire to be relevant. This is a good start to reconnecting.
Here are 5 Perspectives from Go Net Yourself as I am personally learning to be present and connect deeper at work, home and with relationships.
- Creative Moments: Last weekend I was sitting in front of my IPAD and my son came downstairs and started shooting hoops right in front of me, (check out the video above to see what happened, as we connected well). Dude Perfects or Harlem Shakes are demonstrations of how creativity creates deeper connection.
- Questions: Do I really need to take this phone with me to lunch appointments? I’m starting to leave my phone in the car when I go home at night – it really can wait, so those around me don’t think the phone is more important than they are. Great questions are to reveal deep motives and illusions which are often false. Add provocative questions to the blog- what has worked for you?
- Email: I think there needs to be a “how to” class on how to manage life around email. Examples: when deleting lots of email, delete by name, when angry “send to self” and wait 24 hours. Turnoff email alerts to stay focused. Add your tips in the blog.
- Family: What would happen if you led the way in your home with no screen time for a week? Do a Family Biggest Screen-Loser Challenge and discover together what you find out as a family.
- Pendulum: Now that you know what your elementary school’s friends grandmothers are having for breakfast, don’t you think it is time pull back a little. Complete connectedness only results in total disconnectedness. Every strength is a double edged sword; therefore swinging back the momentum of connectivity would be impossible, but pulling back to a healthier state might be very powerful.
I know a Dude who only had 12 friends and he seemed to make quite an impact upon our world. I’m just saying……
Ask anyone older than 55 years old what 1968 was like. You will hear these words: civil unrest, riots, wars, free sex, good music and lots of weed which made the music better “in their minds”. Don’t these descriptions of 1968 sound familiar: Wall Street, gas prices, Iraq, civil unrest, “safe sex”? In 1968 the 80 million baby boomers were 26 years old. Currently, what I affectionately call the Apple Generation (GEN Y/ Millennial’s), the 5-29 are about 29 years old. Many will say, “But drugs, sex and entitlements are so much more prevalent today than in 1968.” We must understand there is 20% more young people today than in 1968 in addition, there are a zillion more communication devices.** Boomers often suffer from a little generational amnesia (be it age or weed), they forget Woodstock, Kent State and their psychedelic youthfulness.
Here are 5 Perspectives from GNY when it comes to the “Apple Generation.”(Why the Apple Gen? see video)
1. Demographics don’t lie – we are not projecting 100 million – they have already been conceived. When the boomers average age is 65, Apple-Gen will be 35 – Relax, just as their parents moved out of their VW Vans, Apple-Gen kids will find their own homes. *– See CDC http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/hus.htm (Report / Death pg 115)
2. Speed: It took the power of all the Boomers together over 30 years (1970-2000) to connect to 30 million people; it took one Apple Gen’er 8 years to connect to 30 million people. Throughout history the greatest innovations came out of an Apple Gen type baby boom. Now think about a generation which interacts at our current speed and faster for their entire life. Hopefully, their innovations will be greater than Facebook.
3. Consumer Driven: If you think the Apple Generation is not as “consumer driven” as their parents, “just look at their toy boxes” or ask anyone who works in the smart phone industry – they have been riding this Apple Gen spending wave for the past 10 years. Or ask yourself why video games are so big right now?
4. Unemployment? My Generation X had only 70 million and was called the “lost generation” – and you wonder why we had such low unemployment from 1990-2008? We will see higher unemployment for a while just like in the 80’s when Boomer’s (then 32ish) had to invent their way out of high unemployment.
5. Real Estate: If you are part of Generation X – we have seen the spending waves of the 80 million boomers and we will reap the benefits of the 100 million of their children. Hold on to your home (s)! 2017 is just around the corner.
Apple Gen will not be an exact reflection of the boomer hysteria from 1965-2005 but if you listen closely and Braille the culture it will make you wonder if you have seen this story in slow motion?
I am sure this will provide great conversation blog. I look forward to hearing from you and seeing you soon.
… (see v-blog for conclusion) …
** http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Y (see demographics / Howe)
Website: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/hus.htm (Special Report on Death and Dying, page 115)
1. Continue to seek beyond the surface of my own fear by asking a simple question, “What lies do I tell myself to keep environments (MBA) safe?” There is no better exercise for your (MBA) than watching M. Night Shyamalan’s psychological metaphor in The Village and ask yourself this question: “who lives in the forest?” – Watch it and get back to me.
2. In the book, Son Rise, Barry Kaufman describes how he and his wife affected their apparently hopeless autistic little boy. “They began their cure, by making a point, for hours at a time, imitating everything he did. This was the door or path by which they led him or persuaded him to come back into the everyday world.” How Children Learn, Holt. This leads me to ask how well am I connected to those I want to lead?
3. Recently my wife told my daughter Grace, “It’s ok to make a mistake – that is how we learn.” Surprised, Grace said, “it is?” We cannot motivate others out of their fears. We can only provide a safe place for them to develop. I need this reminder, more importantly; I need to provide it to those around me.
4. We all have the fear the failure. I’m convinced those who have the ability to identify and manage their fear of failure have the greatest chance to successes in their MBA. There is no better description than Michael Jordan’s poster … “I’ve missed 10 thousand shots……that is why I succeed.”
5. If you have ever taught someone to swim you would think correct kicking or dog padding would be the first lesson. Actually, learning “to float” is the essence of swimming and most who do swim never learn to truly float. If those around me are comfortable enough “to float” their development will flourish. Therefore, where am I not creating a safe place for people around me?
See Frozen in Fear (2min) which sums up how powerful it can be when we “identify our fears.”